The hardest part was watching SB's uncle throughout his dying process. The second hardest part was my miscarriage. The third hardest part was the feeling of disillusionment as communities witnessed police violence towards people of color and our nation elected a bigot as president. In short, 2016 left me feeling heavy, like a wet rag that needed to be wrung out.
The lesson I took from all of these events was the same -- we must rise to difficult circumstances and shine as beacons of love. We must contribute to the creation of supportive communities, whether in our families, among our friends, in our neighborhoods, etc.
Showing up this way has always been a challenge for me because I carry a lot of social anxiety. A few years ago I had a social anxiety "diagnosis" and when recently given the opportunity to take a social anxiety self-assessment (who can resist a self-assessment?), the result came back as severe social anxiety. In the past I've thought of social anxiety as part of my inherent nature, but now I see that it limits me from being myself.
When I think of who I want to be in the world, I think of someone who can approach and engage others warmly and authentically; social anxiety prevents me from being present with others (physically, mentally, emotionally...). My goal for 2017 is to challenge my fears and practice/develop skills so that I can engage others comfortably in both personal and professional spheres of my life. Life is short, and nothing in this life is more meaningful than authentic communion with others.
My professional mentor has often said that the most important things in his life are 1) his immediate family, 2) his friends/extended family, 3&4) music/art and the universe/natural world, and 5) his work. I have really taken this view to heart and tried to remember those priorities as I go about my day-to-day life. When I do this, I find so much joy and gratitude. For instance:
SB and I have been cooking and cooking and cooking. We have not gone out to dinner for two weeks, and two weeks ago we only went out for dinner because it was a friend's birthday. We have been making many recipes, including some from our new cookbook -- Jerusalem. It is an instant favorite, and the time spent making dinner and listening to music is priceless (not to mention delicious). We have also been making ice cream from scratch. Delightful.
Also, check out this Persian prayer rug that I bought from a coffee shop. It is hand-woven and hand-dyed. This kind of purchase is rare for me. It wasn't even that expensive, but it is something that I would typically feel like I couldn't justify (after all, you can get a rug at Target for $15). But in reality it is totally unique and it will bring warmth and rich beauty to our home for years.
Showing up this way has always been a challenge for me because I carry a lot of social anxiety. A few years ago I had a social anxiety "diagnosis" and when recently given the opportunity to take a social anxiety self-assessment (who can resist a self-assessment?), the result came back as severe social anxiety. In the past I've thought of social anxiety as part of my inherent nature, but now I see that it limits me from being myself.
When I think of who I want to be in the world, I think of someone who can approach and engage others warmly and authentically; social anxiety prevents me from being present with others (physically, mentally, emotionally...). My goal for 2017 is to challenge my fears and practice/develop skills so that I can engage others comfortably in both personal and professional spheres of my life. Life is short, and nothing in this life is more meaningful than authentic communion with others.
My professional mentor has often said that the most important things in his life are 1) his immediate family, 2) his friends/extended family, 3&4) music/art and the universe/natural world, and 5) his work. I have really taken this view to heart and tried to remember those priorities as I go about my day-to-day life. When I do this, I find so much joy and gratitude. For instance:
SB and I have been cooking and cooking and cooking. We have not gone out to dinner for two weeks, and two weeks ago we only went out for dinner because it was a friend's birthday. We have been making many recipes, including some from our new cookbook -- Jerusalem. It is an instant favorite, and the time spent making dinner and listening to music is priceless (not to mention delicious). We have also been making ice cream from scratch. Delightful.
Also, check out this Persian prayer rug that I bought from a coffee shop. It is hand-woven and hand-dyed. This kind of purchase is rare for me. It wasn't even that expensive, but it is something that I would typically feel like I couldn't justify (after all, you can get a rug at Target for $15). But in reality it is totally unique and it will bring warmth and rich beauty to our home for years.
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Cheers to a year of rising up, shining bright, and finding love and beauty in every day of life.
