Finished Skirt

Well, at long last I finished making my skirt. Let's just say it was more complicated than the pajama pants I made... ;) It is interesting to go from sewing quilts to sewing clothing. With a quilt you are cutting and cutting and sewing and sewing; it takes a long time and is very repetitive. When making a garment it is literally something like 4-6 pieces of fabric you cut out, and so it seems like it should take very little time to sew it all together. But, of course, there is so much more technique required for a garment! Every stitch counts and significant patience and attention to detail is required!

The skirt was an easy pattern, but because I have had very little practice with garments, I found myself calling my mother at every turn, fearful that a single mistake could ruin the entire skirt. But, in the end, even with help from my mom I still had to tear out some stitches and re-do pieces... and the skirt still turned out. Mostly the issues I ran into were with the machine; for example, we had a hell of a time trying to get the invisible zipper presser foot onto the machine correctly. But in the end, it is finished and, fortunately, it still fits! Here are some photos...

The pattern has four darts (two on the front, two on back)

LOVE this fabric

The invisible zipper

Voila! Not stunning, but hey - handmade.

Here's hoping the skirt still fits after this holiday season -
I made more cookies than originally planned...

Next up - a knit dress. I've never sewn with knits and they seem like a whole different beast to tame. That said, unlike the fabric used for this skirt, a knit fabric will drape more naturally on its own and in that way the fit can be a bit more forgiving. Hoping to have it finished in the next week.

Happy Monday

I don't usually say "Happy Monday," but today is my last full work week of the year so I am quite happy about that. Plus, I've been listening to a new playlist at the office and it really keeps my mood up. One of the songs on the playlist that was fairly new to me, though it came out in 2008 (and was actually written in 1978), is Silver Stallion performed by Cat Power. So good.

This weekend was fairly productive. I made two batches of cookies - snickerdoodles and "french cookies" (previously posted recipe here), got a few Christmas gifts, we connected with good friends, and I nearly finished my skirt with the help of my mother. More to come on the skirt very soon... then onto my first handmade dress.

A few other updates... first, believe it or not, I'm still biking regularly on the trainer! I think I've finally gotten into an exercise habit; it is a relief to enjoy and not dread it! Second, we're on to our next David Tennant TV series - Broadchurch. I've started to really appreciate him as an actor (as opposed to just thinking of him as The Doctor). So far it is pretty dark and suspenseful. I've really gotten into the "murder mystery" genre lately - it is so easy to get hooked in.

Between work and attempting holiday shopping, it will be a busy week. Looking forward to all of the family time and relaxing to come.

Worth Repeating

Last weekend we watched Kill Your Darlings and Howl... you could say it was an Allen Ginsberg themed movie marathon. What can I say? I LOVE the man. And I don't particularly like most of his poetry, but as a human being I think he is one of the best there ever was.

He was extraordinarily sensitive, a philosopher and a poet, an advocate that spoke for those without a voice. He transcended shame and believed whole-heartedly in the power of love. He was a serious person who at the same time reveled in the absurd. So I can't resist but I share with you for the second time on this blog his footnote at the end of the poem Howl.

Footnote to Howl

Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!

The world is holy! The soul is holy! The skin is holy! The nose is holy! The tongue and cock and hand and asshole holy!

Everything is holy! everybody’s holy! everywhere is holy! everyday is in eternity! Everyman’s an angel!

The bum’s as holy as the seraphim! the madman is holy as you my soul are holy!

The typewriter is holy the poem is holy the voice is holy the hearers are holy the ecstasy is holy!

Holy Peter holy Allen holy Solomon holy Lucien holy Kerouac holy Huncke holy Burroughs holy Cassady holy the unknown buggered and suffering beggars holy the hideous human angels!

Holy my mother in the insane asylum! Holy the cocks of the grandfathers of Kansas!

Holy the groaning saxophone! Holy the bop apocalypse! Holy the jazzbands marijuana hipsters peace peyote pipes & drums!

Holy the solitudes of skyscrapers and pavements! Holy the cafeterias filled with the millions! Holy the mysterious rivers of tears under the streets!

Holy the lone juggernaut! Holy the vast lamb of the middleclass! Holy the crazy shepherds of rebellion! Who digs Los Angeles IS Los Angeles!

Holy New York Holy San Francisco Holy Peoria & Seattle Holy Paris Holy Tangiers Holy Moscow Holy Istanbul!

Holy time in eternity holy eternity in time holy the clocks in space holy the fourth dimension holy the fifth International holy the Angel in Moloch!

Holy the sea holy the desert holy the railroad holy the locomotive holy the visions holy the hallucinations holy the miracles holy the eyeball holy the abyss!

Holy forgiveness! mercy! charity! faith! Holy! Ours! bodies! suffering! magnanimity!

Holy the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent kindness of the soul!

                                                                                                            Berkeley 1955

December Bliss

Some days are just solidly GREAT. Today is one of those days. It has been simple, and yet left nothing to be desired.

Here are the highlights -

• Got up early and got groceries - I love going to the grocery store when it is quiet and empty. 
• Caught one of my favorite radio shows - American Routes.
• Watched the last episode of this season of Dr. Who. It was fantastic.
• Made a sourdough yeast starter. It has been waaay too long since I made sourdough bread.
• Biked (inside using the trainer) while watching the "desserts" episode of last season's Great British Baking Show. It is an epic episode. (Note: don't waste your time on the American version currently broadcasting - it is terrible.)
• Hung our stockings. I'm enjoying being festive and creating new traditions in our new home.
• Ran into my most beloved college professor. I haven't seen him for at least 7 years and he hadn't changed a bit and I felt instantly reconnected to him. It is such a joy to know wonderful people exist in the world, even if you don't see them often. It is even better to run into them every once-in-awhile.
• Made chocolate-covered pretzels for dessert. Yum!
• Started a few handmade holiday gifts. Nothing beats creating something by hand while thinking of the person you're making it for. 

Now I'm sitting next to our bright little Christmas tree and under a new quilt from my mom. John Prine is playing on the record player, and SB is making tacos. Life is good.

Down Time

Wow - 5 days off is enough for me to completely let go of work. I felt like I got to focus on life at home over the long weekend, which was a breath of fresh air. Although I have to admit that it was uncomfortable on Friday to lounge most of the day because SB and I are so used to going-going-going (feeling full of turkey and mashed potatoes and pie didn't help, either). Fortunately, on Saturday we found the balance of doing and being with our extra time off. It is going to be nice to go back to work actually feeling ready/rested.

Thanksgiving was lovely. So much food. Great company. The pies I made turned out well. Woohoo! The only thing I missed was my niece and nephew, but we went to see them this weekend so I got my chubby baby fix. ;) Here are a few pictures...

Cricket is not much of a helper when it comes to cleaning!

We were able to fit everyone around one table (10 people).

Apple pie. Also made a sweet potato pie. LOVE pie.

A few photos of what is still to come...

Making a skirt! Darts and all.
NO idea whatsoever if it will turn out.

Started exercising indoors via the CyclOps

Yes, while I generally despise biking (despite living with an avid cyclist), I am making an attempt to get exercising again using the most accessible option available - SB's indoor trainer. It costs nothing and I don't even have to leave the house. I can even watch TV while I exercise which, for good or ill, is an incentive (and a distraction to keep me pedaling). So far so good - two days in a row and highly enjoying episodes of last season's Great British Baking Show. Highly recommend (indoor training and the Great British Baking Show).

One other note for any cycling fans - SB and I are regular watchers of a weekly YouTube show called the GCN (global cycling network) Show. The hosts are hilarious and they cover a wide range of topics in cycling in a mere 20 minutes every Tuesday. They have hundreds of other YouTube videos as well - you can subscribe to their channel to stay abreast of all of their goofy and interesting activities. Click here to view the most recent episode of the GCN show. Strangely enough, while I don't yet enjoy the act of cycling I have come to LOVE the sport.

Cold Season

After an unseasonably warm autumn, the cold season has finally arrived. With it came one heck of a cold virus to our household. I got sick on Halloween, didn't go to work for a week, and am still in the process of recovering from a lingering sinus infection. SB managed to elude the bug for a week, but it caught up with him last weekend; fortunately he managed to power through his work week and has recuperated surprisingly quickly.

Since feeling better I've started a few new craft projects. I have been motivated by that familiar nesting feeling that I always get in November and December thanks to the beginning of winter and the holiday season. This is the first year we have space for holiday decorations so, naturally, I want to make a few seasonal items! Did I mention that we are hosting 8-12 people for Thanksgiving this year? I thought a banner was in order...

fabric pendant banner with felt lettering - it still needs to be assembled. I will share pictures when finished!

Here is another project that I started. It was inspired by an embroiderer I follow on Instagram, although I changed the design a fair amount. I'm still plan to add a few more stars - maybe in silver floss.

SB paid me the highest compliment on both of these projects when
he told me that they remind him of a Wes Anderson movie! 

Once these projects are complete, my goal is to make a skirt in December and perhaps even a dress in time for New Year's Eve... more to come soon.

The Mystery

Four years ago my beloved grandpa passed away. Every autumn I drive to the valley town where he and my grandmother lived for most of their lives, the place where he is buried. September was his birth month, and the month he died. It is also one of the most beautiful months to visit. SB and I hiked a bit in the nearby state park while we were in the area.

I was feeling more existential than usual on this year's trip due to the fact that on Friday I received news that a colleague of mine has been diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. He is one of the most gentle, generous, and graceful people I've ever met, a husband and father of two young kids, and it made me sick to think of the weight of such a diagnosis on him and his family. But I must say, his ruminations on CaringBridge are profoundly hopeful and embracing of the mystery that is life. I was particularly struck by this passage, and share it only because I think it is incredibly wise and instructive for how to live life to the fullest... 

I have felt a sense of spiritual connection other times in my life, but I have never felt so much a part of a larger orchestration that seemed to change not only me but the world around me. I don't understand this, but I want to keep paying attention to it and savoring it. I have lived a lot of my life feeling shy and uptight--afraid to express or trust love. I've lived a lot of my life in my head, abstractly. I'm grateful for the ways this experience is pushing me more fully into relationships, more fully into life.

We're all going to die sometime. How long I live isn't the most important thing to me. Living as fully as possible in the reality of love in every moment is what is most important to me. I don't have the power to do this on my own. Some days, like when I met with the oncologist a couple days ago, I get lost in fear, feeling overwhelmed, and anticipating what might be. I ask for your repeated help and companionship in returning to the present tense of what connects us and moves us right now, noticing, with wonder, what is unfolding. I pray and trust that this unfolding is also healing for others, for other cancers on the planet and society. I know my brain is one part of who I am, and I want to support its healing. But I feel my identity is more in the connections between us, and the power that weaves us together. 

Being reminded of the preciousness of life is a gift. In that spirit, here are a few other moments that I savored this weekend:

Highlight of a recent sculpture garden visit, which
resonated with me in thinking about grace amidst mystery

a close cuddle with sweet little Cricket

I finally took the time today to make these pajama pants,
from start to finish, in the sunshine, humming to my favorite playlist

It is a mystery, and in my opinion the best we can do is what my colleague articulated - to let ourselves be pushed fully into life, to be present and connected, to notice all of the wonder and love in the world around us, and to savor it.

Birthday Week!

Last week was my birthday, and it was hands down my favorite birthday week in recent memory.

It started with seeing John Prine in concert. Although he is old and his voice is quite gravelly, he had so much charisma - we were fortunate to have seats so close that you could easily see that he was constantly grinning. The audience sang along to the heartfelt and humorous hits. It was one of the best concerts I've seen - definitely an artist better in person than the audio-only version.

Because I love food, I also have to mention that over the course of the week we ate at my three favorite restaurants - a gastro pub, a vietnamese bistro, and a foodie cafe. What a TREAT. I also heard from favorite friends who I haven't connected with in a while, which was fun and grounding.

For my birthday I got a few new craft supplies and went hog-wild at the sewing machine and with my embroidery hoop. See below.

needle/scissor case made of wool felt - still needs some work

On top - embroidered seasonal decor for our front door,
on bottom - a pouch (for sewing tools), complete with zipper!

My family also had a build-your-own pizza and game night this week. It was SO fun (and I have to admit that I am generally not a big fan of games). My niece has been particularly affectionate toward me lately, sharing my chair, giving me hugs, and she helped me blow out the candles on a cake that she and my mom made together. And my nephew was sweet and mild as usual, a little sausage in his 9-month pajamas (he is 5 months). Too cute.

SB even splurged and got us great tickets to see To Kill A Mockingbird at the most well-loved theater in town. So the celebration will continue. :) In short, I am so grateful and feel so loved.

Sacred Spaces

I have had a lot of evening work meetings lately, which means that I've had more time at home in the morning. Because I am a morning person, this has been great; I have been going for runs, cleaning, listening to music, and crafting before work! A disadvantage is that evening meetings keep my mind tick-tick-ticking beyond bedtime, but soaking up the morning sun in pajamas at a sewing machine is the BEST.

That's right, for the first time in my life I have a sewing machine in my own home. It is my mom's old machine, and the instruction booklet contains her hand-written notes from more than 30 years ago. I am thrilled and have ambition to make everything from nerdy holiday decor to clothing for myself. Which reminds me, I've added another new favorite blog to the sidebar on the right side of the page - lladybird - click on the link to see a badass woman who sews the most awesome clothing. Wowza.

I have also begun knitting again, starting with a basic washcloth. It is so easy to do, but I have historically been quick to give up whenever I make a mistake. This time I'm just continuing to knit despite mistakes, and am about half-way through the washcloth with only one little hole where I mixed up a stitch. Practice will eventually make perfect-enough, and in the meantime I just enjoy the way that knitting shuts off my usual thinking processes (about the future, the past, worrying, etc.) and keeps me present.

Speaking of the present, it is a gorgeous time of year. I had the good fortune of spending a recent staff meeting visiting local sacred Dakota sites. It gave me an opportunity to really think about this space, this land, that I have called home for more than a decade, and the rich history (both good and bad) of this place. One of the sites was a restored prairie on a river bluff, the other a forest in a river valley. It was my first time to either place, even though I've lived nearby for so long. It was a powerful reminder of the sacredness surrounding us, even when we aren't looking.

Lastly, below is a photo of a bouquet that I got at the farmer's market last weekend. I love the combination - delicate flower clusters with furry caterpillar-like purple blossoms.

New Look!

Like all of us, I am constantly evolving. Today felt like the day to update the look of this blog. I'm not sure if it is the changing season or changes happening within me, but today was the day. The previous orange-yellow design and graffiti hearts were former inhabitants of my happy place, and today that place is blue and rich with organic textures. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Also, for fun, I recently looked into the top 15 most played songs in my iTunes library. There were definitely some surprises in there - favorites of the past. My top 15 were:

Blue Ridge Mountain, Hurray for the Riff Raff
The New SF Bay Blues, Hurray for the Riff Raff
(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay, Otis Redding
You Are My Sunshine, Ray Charles
Wagon Wheel, Old Crow Medicine Show
Long Way Home, Norah Jones
Candy, Nat King Cole
Look Out Mama, Hurray for the Riff Raff
Appalachian Death Sigh, Bill Fox
Long Way Home, Tom Waits
Lost Highway, Hank Williams
I'll Fly Away, Allison Krauss & Gillian Welch
Sign on the Window, Bob Dylan
Blueberry Hill, Louis Armstrong
September Fields, Frazey Ford

It seems that across genres - bluegrass, jazz, country, and blues - I like it mellow.

Collections

As a wannabe minimalist, I have more collections than I would like to admit. Over time, I have collected things both intentionally (i.e. cookbooks, fabrics, stationary) and unintentionally (i.e. miscellaneous papers and articles, notebooks, various nostalgic items, and a whole host of hobby "accessories" that I never ended up using). I like projects, and have a closet full of beads, stamps, and scrapbooks to prove it!

Having recently moved into a house, I now have more room than ever for material possessions. And yet, the tranquility of the uncluttered space has me determined to stop buying things and better appreciate what I already have. A simple, peaceful home has made me want for a lot less. There is a button pinned into my cubicle wall that says "do small things with great love." That has proven to be the recipe for happiness in my life. Thus, my next project will be one that REduces, instead of PROduces - I aim to go through all of my hobby supplies and only keep what I truly love.

Another piece of this realization resulted from noticing just how passionately I feel about the smallest of my hobbies - embroidery. I've never really aspired to embroider well - just enjoyed the act of embroidering, and the way that embroidery is so imperfect and heartfelt and human. It is a perfect example of how much vibrance and love can come from something so little. Wondering what I'm talking about? Scroll through this site: Feeling Stitchy.

Jon.Ron.Son

Happy almost-Friday!

SB and I are reading Jon Ronson's new book, "So You've Been Publicly Shamed." Ronson is a long-time journalist whose popular credits include "The Psychopath Test" and "The Men Who Stare at Goats." SB has read a few of his books, but until now I had only ever thought of him as that journalist with a funny name.

The new book about public shaming is fascinating. Online shaming is a strange and complicated phenomenon, and Ronson does his due diligence in exploring it from all angles. He chronicles the stories of people who have been publicly shamed, some exposed as liars and frauds, others just ordinary people whose comments were misunderstood or taken out of context. And in most of these scenarios, public shaming resulted in dismantling someone's life. And yet those who instigate the shaming often feel that they are doing something good and just.

We're not finished with the book yet, but here are a few passages to give you a taste:

"A life had been ruined. What was it for: just some social media drama? I think our natural disposition as humans is to plod along until we get old and stop. But with social media, we've created a stage for constant artificial high drama. Every day a new person emerges as a magnificent hero or a sickening villain. It's all very sweeping, and not the way we actually are as people. What rush was overpowering us at times like this? What were we getting out of it?"

"...I remember how exciting it felt when hitherto remote evil billionaires like Rupert Murdoch and Donald Trump created their own Twitter accounts. For the first time in history we sort of had direct access to ivory-tower oligarchs like them. We became keenly watchful for transgressions. After a while, it wasn't just transgressions we were keenly watchful for. It was misspeakings. Fury at the terribleness of other people had started to consume us a lot. And the rage that swirled around seemed increasingly in disproportion to whatever stupid thing some celebrity had said. It felt different to satire or journalism or criticism. It felt like punishment. In fact, it felt weird and empty when there wasn't anyone to be furious about."

More to come soon, but I'd definitely recommend the book if you're interested in the topic. Ronson has a very unique voice - I wasn't sure what I thought of it at first, but it has really grown on me.

Delish

Made this simple but yummy pasta salad this week thanks to Smitten Kitchen. Recipe can be found here. I didn't have pine nuts and added chopped fresh spinach and basil for good measure.

Speaking of basil, after at least a year of wanting to make a savory tomato jam, last weekend we canned six half-pints of tomato basil jam (with apples to sweeten it). Double delish.

These canning pictures never do the foods justice...

Quick Update

Is it really August? The weather this summer has been relatively blissful so I'm more reluctant than usual to move into fall. That being said, late summer is particularly great for Minnesotans because the farmers markets are so bountiful. Abundant fresh tomatoes - need I say more?

Here is a photo update of what I've been up to...

Family vacation in Door County, WI 

Very intense storm while on vacation

Time with my niece and baby nephew!

Bay scallop tacos for our wedding anniversary

Also, I got a new job title at work. It didn't come with a pay increase, but I'm still grateful for the bump and looking forward to new responsibilities that have been given to me. Hurray for professional development.

Next up - canning season.

Fruits of Our Labor

Pun intended.



Yesterday I made my first cherry pie. It also happened to be the first cherry pie I've ever eaten. It was sweet with a perfect hint of tart (for me, anyway). It was the focal point of our housewarming party -- when I cut it there were about 10 people hovering around me just waiting to jump in for their piece!

Also pictured is our cherry wine, slowly but surely fermenting in our basement. It will be ready to taste in early 2016. Can't wait! A fun experiment.

Yet Another Adventure in Food

We probably should have realized it earlier, but it wasn't until last weekend that a neighbor informed us that the tree in our backyard is a cherry tree. At first they just looked like berries, then when they got larger an Uncle suggested perhaps crabapple... nope. Cherries.

Once we learned that they were cherries, we got right to work and picked something like 12 lbs (only a quarter or so of the berries on the tree!), which then became closer to 9 pounds when pitted. We froze 4 lbs for pie (sadly that only makes 2 pies...considering how long it took to pit them), and the other 4 lbs were frozen until we began the process of making cherry wine with them yesterday. Should be a fun experiment, and thanks to SB's beer brewing hobby, we have essentially everything we need already.

bad picture, but a lovely tree (and big!) 

warm from the sun 

in 9 months, this will be 1 gallon of wine

Let Me Count The Ways

We have been grilling. And grilling. And grilling. As it turns out, almost everything can be grilled. I have enjoyed it because although my family doesn't grill as often as SB's (they are grill masters), it is definitely a taste that reminds me of summertime growing up. Especially grilled chicken.

So far we have grilled...

• peppers
• onions
• zucchini
• corn on the cob
• steak
• shrimp
• chicken
• most recently, pizza 

 


Other than that, I have been so busy with work that it is coming home with me. But I am digging in to some of my favorite projects related to program evaluation, so I am happy and eager to prove myself in order to do more of the evaluation work moving forward. Despite the packed days, SB and I have found time to relax on the front porch in the evenings. So lovely.

Did I mention we've only had a grill for 3 weeks? We are on our way to becoming grill masters. ;)

Even better...

Two days later and so many more flowers have bloomed. Check out this beauty.

Also, it is so painstaking to go to work when it is a) finally summer and b) I can't get enough of our house. I just find it so sad to sit in a cubicle worrying about details when I could be sitting on a screened porch watching the flowers bloom. But I suppose I couldn't have gotten here without my job, so I should be grateful for it, too! ;)

Flora

This weekend the first of our flowers bloomed. While overall our new yard has only a small number of perennials, the existing plants are quite lovely. Sure there are a few hostas, but oh the roses and the peonies! There is even lily of the valley peeking out in a few places. Adorable.

 

We have done a bit of planting since we moved in, but have more on our list for next weekend. I don't know that we'll get to it early enough this summer, but we also have plans to build a raised bed for veggies next year. So looking forward to the pleasures of gardening, and so grateful that what was already here is so beautiful.

Abundant Gratitude

Wow. Our new home blows me away constantly. I can't believe the space! It is a bit unsettling for this creature of habit to be out of her routine, but at the same time it is such a gift; I am completely savoring every minute, finding myself struck by surprising little joys everywhere. And I'm realizing how much my environment impacts my mindset. In our apartment there was always clutter, and it felt like the work was never done. In our house, there is open space and it feels peaceful. I can feel the change in my body and in my mind.

Some of the joys so far:

• Sitting on the floor of our 3-season porch, watching our cat gaze at the oh-so-close birds
• Plenty of counter space for preparing meals
• Running our dishwasher for the first time
• Taking showers with better water pressure and a better shower head
• Sore calves from walking up and down our stairs so many times during the move
• Admiring the small stained class window in our dining room
• Watching less TV - because there is space for so many other activities
• The feeling of moving air from the ceiling fan while laying in bed - love it
• And this... my favorite room in the house (below). It is a small "sleeping porch," which overlooks the backyard and colorful little garage roofs down the alley, has windows on 3 sides, and was apparently used back in the day for sleeping on hot days. Now it is my favorite place to read and to stretch out my back every morning. Such bliss.

Let the wild rumpus start!

It is moving week. And as is so often the case, when it rains - it pours. As if the home-buying process isn't enough of a run-around with so many hoops to jump through, we've both got very busy schedules at work this week, spilling into several of our evenings. Our apartment is 75% filled boxes and 20% furniture and remaining stuff. The other 5% is made up of narrow walking paths to get from room to room, which is not quite enough to keep us sane. ;) Only 3 days to go, though! Surreal. But our now-empty pocketbooks prove that it is REALLY happening - we cut the check and in a few days and signatures we will actually be homeowners.

Lots of hard work and fun and photos to come!

Moving!

And like that... we are buying a house!

SB and I have been tempering our emotions (or trying to) over the past two weeks, given the stop/go nature of the home-buying process. All of the steps -- having a private showing, making an offer, waiting, having our offer accepted, waiting for an inspection, having the inspection, adjusting our offer, waiting, having our adjusted offer accepted -- so many unknowns and hoops to jump through! But I think we are through the last of the hoops, now, with the exception of closing. Yesterday we told our landlord that we'll be moving.

Suddenly it is so real. We will be living in our hose in less than a month!

More to come soon.

Diving In

Since my last post, SB and I decided to take the plunge into homeownership. Within the last few weeks we crunched the numbers and were pre-approved with a lender. Today we meet our realtor for the first time. Yesterday we had our first minor home-buying heartbreak - we saw a dreamy new listing in our price range, went to the open house, and when we walked in the door found that there were already multiple offers on the house - 20 minutes into the first showing. It is an extremely competitive market, especially in our price range, so it is an exciting and also stressful time for us. Keep your fingers crossed!

Tribute

Today is the funeral for my childhood "day care lady." That term doesn't quite fit my relationship to her, in the sense that I was her only "day care kid." So she was really more like a grandma that lived three doors down that took care of me before and after school.

We would play cards and Yahtzee in the afternoons. She would let me watch TV for a while, and then warn me that too much TV would give me "mushy brains." She made me dinner sometimes, and gave me a taste for sauerkraut (she served it hot, with pot roast and buttered bread on the side).

Her husband was a janitor at an elementary school, and sometimes we would go visit him at work. He taught me how to tie my shoes and I used to like to watch him shave (the smell of Old Spice still reminds me of him) and watch him lace up his Red Wing work boots. He passed away several years ago, and since then my day care lady faced depression and declining health.

My family moved to the adjoining town when I was entering 3rd grade, but we got together for pie with my day care lady and her husband for years. My relationship with her faded over time, but she was at my wedding - the last time I saw her - and I sent her cookies (a favorite recipe that we used to make together) when she was living in assisted care in December.

It is interesting to have grown up part-time with an old-fashioned, working class couple from an older generation. I know that so much of who I am today was instilled in me at that young age in that household, and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

Sweet Sweet Spring

The snow is finally turning to puddles. I skipped the winter coat this weekend and was warm enough in a sweatshirt. The sunshine radiates into the evening again at last. Yess. Spring. I'm still feeling overworked, underpaid and uncertain of what the future holds, but ultimately I am oh-so-grateful and happy with who I am and what I have. Life is good when the sun is shining. Sometimes it is just that simple.

Spring always reminds me of this poem. I think because I imagine both as wet and muddy.

The Red Wheelbarrow

William Carlos Williams, 1883 - 1963

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

Looking Back, Looking Ahead

Upon delving into the depths of my facebook profile, I found a few quotes that I had included in my original profile way back when facebook was new and I was in college. Since that time the profile feature has been reformatted and rearranged, so I was surprised when I ran across the old quotes. It was actually a delight to see them again (though one is on this blog, so it had not been forgotten), and to feel that I still love them so whole-heartedly.

"We all do better when we all do better."
-Paul Wellstone

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."
-Bertrand Russell

"Let a smile be your umbrella."
-Advice from Gordon Cole to Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks

Exhausted but Joyful

It is almost Friday and I am so. wiped. out. I can't tell if it is because this week has been so hectic or because I know that next week is going to be even more intense (including several day-long trainings, an evening fundraiser, and a solo 8-hour round trip drive for work in the span of 24 hours).

Fortunately I think it is one of those days that I can/must forgo my evening to do list in order to rest and restore myself for what is still coming. Also fortunate is that there is so much to be thankful for; this weekend is SB's 30th birthday, so we've got lots of fun party plans with friends and family. I am also on the verge of finishing a lap quilt for my professional mentor; he and his wife have been so generous with SB and I and when they have us over for dinner later this month I plan to surprise them with the quilt. Can't wait.

Another positive note is that SB recently bought the "Another Day, Another Time: Celebrating the Music of Inside Llewyn Davis" record, which is one of my favorite new records. It is a live recording of a concert of great folk and Americana music sung by more modern artists like Gillian Welch, Jack White, Punch Brothers, Willie Watson, Marcus Mumford, Oscar Isaac, Rhiannon Giddens, and the Avett Brothers. Some classic folks artists are also featured, like Joan Baez and Bob Neuwirth.

Two of my favorite songs from the album are "The Midnight Special" and "That's How I Got to Memphis." Enjoy!

Wowza

Mary Oliver strikes again! My soul, that is. What a woman. This is from her 2014 collection.



THE FOURTH SIGN OF THE ZODIAC (PART 3)

I know, you never intended to be in this world.
But you’re in it all the same.


So why not get started immediately.


I mean, belonging to it.
There is so much to admire, to weep over.


And to write music or poems about.

Bless the feet that take you to and fro.
Bless the eyes and the listening ears.
Bless the tongue, the marvel of taste.
Bless touching.


You could live a hundred years, it’s happened.
Or not.
I am speaking from the fortunate platform
of many years,
none of which, I think, I ever wasted.
Do you need a prod?
Do you need a little darkness to get you going?
Let me be as urgent as a knife, then,
and remind you of Keats,
so single of purpose and thinking, for a while,
he had a lifetime.

Doesn't it just fill you up? Poetry is so restorative for me. Amazingly meditative. A few stanzas manage to slow and deepen my breathing, drop my shoulders, and remind me of my purpose in the world. To be. 

You can hear Mary Oliver read this poem here. 

Today's Challenge

Today's challenge is to...

Recently the leadership team (of 2) in my office made a decision that I feel compromises the integrity of our organization. I am very discouraged by the action and concerned about its implications, which I think will be far-reaching. The decision was made without staff input and staff feedback hasn't been solicited - more like stifled by statements like, "we'll all have a lot of feelings about this...there isn't much we can disclose about our decision...the decision has been made..."etc.

Can I show up at work every day and act as though nothing has changed? This seems to be the expectation. Am I more at risk by speaking my truth and possibly being seen as some kind of threat, or by letting my own integrity be compromised by acting complicit in a situation that I don't support? I'm inclined toward the latter, and another important question seems to be: now that the organization's leadership has broken trust and thrown out transparency, what have I got to lose by speaking up?

Updates

First a poem by Mary Oliver:

Farm Country

I have sharpened my knives, I have
Put on the heavy apron.

Maybe you think life is chicken soup, served
In blue willow-pattern bowls.

I have put on my boots and opened
The kitchen door and stepped out

Into the sunshine. I have crossed the lawn.
I have entered

The hen house.

Second - if you are a reader of this blog you know that I like having projects to work on in my spare time. One of my recent projects has been to purge as much of our "stuff" as possible so that SB and I can fit more comfortably in our little apartment. Although it has not been SB's favorite weekend activity, he has been a trooper and gone through everything with me. As a result, we recently got rid of a huge armchair, 3 bags of clothes, 4 bags of books, 1 bag of DVDs, among other things. And the difference is HUGE. Love it.

Lastly, on a related note - I have yet another new project! This one is unique and particularly exciting. A Board member at my organization asked me to co-write a chapter of a textbook with him! It is essentially a big literature review; he is pulling the articles, I'm reading them and doing most of the writing, and I'll be the first author on it. The project is unpaid and outside of my full-time job, but I'm loving it. Feels like being back in school. And hopefully in the end I'll see my name in print!

Success!

I baked one of the two loaves last night, and the other this morning. They both turned out much better than I expected - they were downright delicious! The exterior is crisp, crunchy, chewy. The crumb is moist and mildly sour like a classic sourdough. It tastes so different than a bread made with active dry yeast - and the baking method (20 minutes in covered dutch oven, then 20 minutes uncovered) produces such a gorgeous exterior! With butter it is heavenly. Like real bread - from a bakery!

loaf #1 in cast-iron dutch oven - you can see that
I scored a square pattern on the top of the dough, but not very
deeply so only  a thin square rose above the rest of the bread

loaf #1, the crumb

loaf #2 cooling - I scored the square more deeply this time,
and for whatever reason this loaf was a bit more flexible
than the first and expanded a bit more