Seitan -- not Satan!

Tonight SB and I made our first meal with seitan. As it turns out, seitan (at least the "chicken-style") is more flavorful than tofu. Yum. The meal was a sauteed seitan with mushrooms and spinach -- recipe was found in Veganomicon and was relatively cheap and very easy. Tomorrow we have another Veganomicon recipe on the docket -- a "Snobby Joe" recipe which uses lentils as a base rather than beef. I predict that it will be amazing and I am so looking forward to our new-found commitment to a more versatile menu of ingredients and combinations. Cooking with SB is quite possibly my favorite way to spend time.

On a side note, we are watching "Treme" and on a recent trip to the library found a ton of cds featuring the New Orleans musicians that appear on the show, including Trombone Shorty and Kermit Ruffins. Love love love it. If I had a few thousand dollars to spend, Jazz Fest would be at the top of my list. As it is, library cds are a fantastic free substitute.

Lastly, SB is obsessed with tea, and a gift card to Tea Source led us to a sampler pack, an herbal, and a darjeeling that are all delicious (at least everything that we've tried thus far). Tea is such a simple pleasure. I love it in the morning and in the evening -- so soothing and a lovely companion for a great book.

Wonder Years + Tea = Bedtime Delight

O Me! O Life!

"Keep Calm and Carry On," as the British would say. Or, as one American once wrote:

O ME! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;

Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;

Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)

Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;

Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;

Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined;

The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here—that life exists, and identity;

That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

Walt Whitman

Watch this Film

The Examined Life -- streaming on Netflix. Several of the featured philosophers I studied as an undergraduate philosophy major, and all have written brilliant (and relatively accessible) books and essays that are FASCINATING. Love it! 

Winter Approaches

This upcoming weekend is the last of October weekends. November seems to signal for me that it is about to be winter. As I was reading a book of Mary Oliver poems, I came across one that spoke to my mood (as I sat, on my lunch break, in a park in my car with heat and music on low).

Last Days

Things are
changing; things are starting to
spin, snap, fly off into
the blue sleeve of the long
afternoon. Oh and ooh
come whistlingout of the perished mouth
of the grass, as things
turn soft, boil back
into substance and hue. As everything,
forgetting its own enchantment, whispers:
I too love oblivion why not it is full
of second chances. Now,
hiss the bright curls of the leaves. Now!
booms the muscle of the wind.

The Pat Tillman Story

Pat Tillman: intelligent, down to earth, philosophical, generous, diligent, fun and, like all of us, capable of really nerdy photos like the one shown above

I highly recommend the documentary The Pat Tillman Story. It opened my eyes to the following:

a) the fact that Pat Tillman was an extraordinary human being with an admirable spirit and way of being

b) yet another example of the disgusting way in which political power is wielded to cover damaging truths

c) the courageous perseverance of a family in exposing the truth and holding the military, all the way up the ladder to the Commander in Chief, accountable for the lies surrounding Pat Tillman's death

d) the fact that finding acceptance and peace in moving forward with life, after any traumatic circumstance, is critical for taking care of yourself and others, whether a resolution occurred or not

A Trip to the Library

After a long hiatus, SB and I finally made a trip to out nearby library. An hour or so later we returned home, feeling as excited as kids at Christmas -- the bounty of free movies (extensive collection of foreign films), fiction and nonfiction, audio books, music, etc. available at the library is really quite amazing. Even though not EVERYTHING can be found in the stacks or on the interlibrary request system, we, as people with interest in learning just about anything, will never run out of appealing options.

Today I begin the audio book of The Mad Desire to Dance, by Elie Wiesel and this weekend I will finally share with SB the glory of the film Elevator to the Gallows (an entirely Miles Davis soundtrack). SB got a Joe Strummer documentary, Batman (a continuation of the Batman chronicle by Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert) and a pretty awesome Steve Earl album called "Townes" - in memory of Townes Van Zandt.

YAY.

Switch-Up

Today I decided to switch-up the blog design (more whimsical!) and re-committed myself to more regularly writing on topics large and small.

I saw Stacy Schiff speak at MPR's Talking Volumes series last night and was completely inspired. She was incredibly knowledgeable, articulate, intelligent and witty, an expert on the lives of at least four individuals on whom she has written biographies. SO cool. If I were to pursue writing I think that non-fiction would  be my path. I envy the life of writers who can somehow manage to get by while researching for years in preparation for their books. Also, I have come to accept that I have a limited imagination, so fiction always strikes me as particularly daunting.

But to craft around existing information a compelling narrative -- that is the kind of project that appeals to me. I'm toying the idea of writing mini-biographies for older generations of my family, since the sources are so accessible to me and it could enrich my understanding of who I am (and hopefully do the same for future generations of my family). Anyway, this is the type of thinking that has come as a result of my recent aunt-hood -- I feel an obligation to be a preserver of family memories and stories for sharing with future generations.

Anyway, I recommend Stacy Schiff! She has written several well-received biographies, most recently on Cleopatra. I think that I will (eventually, when I get through the line of books already on my list), Vera (Mrs. Vladimir Nabokov).

Weekend Getaway (of sorts)

Last weekend SB and I traveled six hours in the same car as my parents to spend two days with our extended family. We even slept on an air mattress in the same room as my parents. While this lack of privacy may have at first sounded unpleasant for two home-bodied introverts like ourselves, the weekend proved powerfully fun. 

• We sat up every night, four generations of our family, chatting about a very wide variety of topics and often laughing hysterically. This was quality time in the truest sense of the word.

• We sat by the water and took in a beautiful sunset (again, four generations together!)

• We ate indulgently at a pot luck of home-cooked dishes.

• We delighted in and stared at our youngest relative, my niece, only three months old.

• We ate saltwater taffy and ice cream and drank local brews.

• We had abundant time to read for fun.

• We did not use a computer once!

Ramblings/Learnings

Every day a new learning experience. I love my shell but don't want to miss a minute with family and also friends. A family and a friend reunion scheduled for the same weekend...makes me wish that I could be in two places at once. Time back on the West Bank makes me long for Minneapolis living, too. So many wishes for the past, and so many for the future. I am so excited for more aunthood with a little lady running around. I can't wait for a dog and a bigger apartment. For dinners out without worrying about the tab. I am well-aware that a job won't make everything possible, but I look forward to having a bit more income with which to make ends meet and also take a mini vacation some time. And for spoiling my niece and SB.

Cheap and Delicious

This recipe turned out to be not only extremely simple but, to my surprise, full of great flavor. I have moved from reluctant to eager when it comes to collard greens. Expect more in recipes to come.

Collards and Black-eyed Peas
The St. Paul Farmers Market Produce Cookbook

6 cups collard greens, coarsely chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 tbsp. olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups tomatoes, chopped
2 tsp. ground cumin
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
1 tbsp. tomato paste
1 cup cooked black eyed peas

Steam collard greens until tender, about 7 to 10 minutes. In a large skillet, saute onion and garlic in oil until soft. Add tomatoes, cumin, lemon juice, salt, pepper, tomato paste, and black eyed peas. Mix well. Stir in cooked collards until mixed. Serve over rice. Makes 3 servings.

Yum

I recently made this cashew chicken recipe and loved it. For those of you who are looking for something spicy -- this is not the dish. If you feel like a lightly sweet and nutty meal, give this simple recipe a try. I thought it was delicious!

(From Martha Stewart's Everyday Food: Great Food Fast)

Serves 4
Prep: 30 minutes
Total: 30 minutes

* 1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into 1-inch cubes
* 1 tablespoon cornstarch
* Coarse salt and ground pepper
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil, such as safflower
* 6 cloves garlic, minced
* 8 scallions, white and green parts separated, each cut into 1-inch pieces
* 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
* 3 tablespoons hoisin sauce
* 3/4 cup raw cashews (4 ounces), toasted
* White rice, for serving (optional)

Note: I added 3/4 cup julienned carrots and used cidar vinegar instead of rice vinegar. Oh, and I just skipped the cornstarch.

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, toss chicken with cornstarch until chicken is coated; season with 3/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper.
2. In a large nonstick skillet, heat 1 tablespoon oil over medium-high heat. Cook half the chicken, tossing often, until browned, about 3 minutes. Transfer to a plate.
3. Add remaining oil and chicken to skillet along with the garlic and white parts of scallions. Cook, tossing often, until chicken is browned, about 3 minutes. Return first batch of chicken to pan. Add vinegar; cook until evaporated, about 30 seconds.
4. Add hoisin sauce and 1/4 cup water; cook, tossing, until chicken is cooked through, about 1 minute. Remove from heat. Stir in scallion greens and cashews. Serve immediately over white rice, if desired.

A Joyful Rainy Day

After applying for research jobs all morning, I have begun this afternoon's cooking/baking extravaganza. Okay, that is an overstatement, but I have so rarely made new recipes lately that I am thrilled by the opportunity. I'm currently making apricot-almond bread, to be followed by a mushroom and broccoli noodle casserole. While the word casserole is generally a turn-off for me, this recipe appeals to my sense of worthy indulgence (generally healthy except for an excessive amount of cheese). Plus, no meat!

Another bonus today is Cricket. She has been so warm and loving lately. I'm not sure if it was the trauma of going to the doctor so frequently this month, but she now spends more time than ever cuddled up beside us. Love it.

Also, I'm going to start a new book -- The Israel Lobby. I've wanted to read it for nearly a year,  but it was impossible while in school. I've heard that it is great, but perhaps overwhelmingly dense. We'll see. I'm excited about it because the issue presented in the book has been on my mind quite a bit and I have interest in becoming more active in divestment campaigns, so the book is a good starting place for me. Expect a post about it!

Relativity

Did I say "job security" in my last post? Well, I was wrong. With the state shutdown looming, my very expendable intern status may prove detrimental. There is no certainty for any of my co-workers paid by state grants. Layoffs could be just temporary, or they could be permanent (and then people would have to go through a re-hiring process). The grant that was supposed to be paying for all of our job extensions may or may not have gone through all of the processes to make it "official" yet, in which case I could be one of many to lose my job. Sad.

Despite this unfortunate situation, I am feeling pretty good. I took time yesterday to work on my scrapbook of poems and other collected treasures. The thirty minutes that I spent working on it filled me with enthusiasm and energy that is still with me today. I just bought a William Carlos Williams collection -- Pictures from Brueghel and other Poems -- and "Suzy" may be the next addition to my poetry book. Also, I've been listening to a lot of music lately, which has felt great. The Rolling Stones, Danger Mouse's "Rome," Ray Charles, David Bowie, Atmosphere.

Life is somehow as busy as ever (or so it feels), and a cousin's wedding will this weekend provide SB his first opportunity to meet my Dad's family. It will be interesting, as I have hardly seen any of them for years. I'm sure that everyone will look so grown up, perhaps including myself! It will be fun, although I'm eager for a quiet weekend; amazing how quickly these summer weekends fill with activities! I'd also like to get a small camping trip in with SB this summer and have a feeling that if I don't plan it soon, it'll never happen!  

Lastly, after finishing a recent batch, I have decided that I am a pita bread master. I'll never buy it again!

Suzy

I

women your age have decided

wars and the beat

of poems your grandfather

is a poet and loves you

pay attention

to your lessons an inkling

of what beauty means to

a girl your age

may dawn soon upon you

II

life is a flower when it

opens you will

look trembling into it unsure

of what the traditional

mirror may reveal

between hope an despair while

a timorous old man

doubtfully half

turns away his foolish head

III

a bunch of violets clutched

in your idle

hand gives him a place

beside you which he cherishes

his back turned

from you casually appearing

not to look he yearns after

you protectively

hopelessly wanting nothing

Sweet Sweet Summer

Sorry, I've been quite lazy about this whole blog thing.

Some Updates:

• I have a job security (part-time, fun, great pay) until the end of September and can look for new jobs in the meantime. Yay! I have applied for a few. No word yet, but it is still early...? We'll see. I definitely feel so much more qualified having just completed a great program.

• Cricket is potentially quite sick. We'll know more later this week. Preliminary diagnosis: uveitis. Could be chronic. Sad, but less so if treatment is affordable and we can take good care of her until she's mended. Fortunately we now have A/C in our bedroom to offer her (and us!) a place of refuge on days like today-- a humid 93 degrees.

• We had a fabulous cabin weekend with friends -- a blissful afternoon on a pontoon and at the sandbar of a nearby Wisconsin lake. Sun + water + brew + pals + grilled veggies + SPF 55 = time well spent.

• Also, reading a new book -- Let the Great World Spin. It didn't strike me as fabulous at first-- too down-and-out for my mood-- but it has grown on me and so have the great variety of characters. I'm looking forward to getting further into it now. SB is also reading it, as it is the first of our 2-person book club books. Yes, that's right. We're reading the same books so that we can talk about them. Can't wait for the next one -- The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. 

Her New Favorite Place

SB's dresser drawer.

Ray Charles!

Ray Charles: A terrible husband, yes, but also a brilliant musician. This is a great song for a rainy day, and it always reminds me of a lovely part of the movie "Unstrung Heroes" where a family dances while makes pancakes together for breakfast. What a great image.

I just got the album Complete Country & Western Recordings (1959-1986), and it is phenomenal. Favorite tracks include: Just a Little Lovin', Carless Love, Hang Your Head in Shame, and Teardrops in my Heart. Love it.

Revitalized, and Just in Time...

Saturday my group presented our preliminary online database to a dozen prominent members of the local Somali community. We got very good feedback, and it was so cool bringing the community into the HHH computer lab to present a project that they helped to develop for their own benefit. Afterwards SB and I decided to spend the night in, rearranging our living room with hopes that it would clear our minds as well as our space. Success! It feels like a whole new place.

Then, Sunday I got on my bike for the first time this summer. SB and I rode to Hamline to study. I love studying at Hamline. Nothing beats a little desk with its own outlet next to a big window. Following the bike ride SB made the best tofu that I've ever eaten -- it was breaded with spicy cornmeal, with a side of garlicy roasted potatoes. YUM. He even cut the tofu into cute triangular shapes. Love it.

Now, only three more weeks of class to go! And my final week isn't that bad. Just two more crazy weeks. Plus I'm finalizing the toolkit that I have written all on my own for our corner store program. Phew! I am SO close, and SO excited.

PS. Listening to a lot of Atmosphere, lately. It feels like summer!

A New Fav, Thanks to Bright Eyes Live

So, we saw Titus Andronicus and Bright Eyes last night. Bright Eyes is pretty emo for my style, but it is impossible to deny that he is quite the songwriter. Below is my new fav, called "Bowl of Oranges." Bask in the sweet and lovely nerdiness of it!

For those who prefer more rockin' stuff, here is Titus Andronicus. To their guitarist/violinist I say "go, girl!" She was a badass.

Victory

I am no longer sick! (knock on wood.) 


It has been a long time since I have felt this energetic (like 3 months, honestly). It hit me last Friday -- a strong enthusiasm for life rather than the more familiar feeling of bad stress that has been plaguing me since I got sick. And, despite a very busy weekend of time with friends, I've still got the enthusiasm at 5:30pm on Monday night(and I'm still at school waiting for a night class to start!). It is amazing how good it feels; it is as though I am "getting my life back," in a way. And there is no better time. With graduation approaching and the reality that there is a finite checklist (even if it is still a long one) of homework assignments left to complete, I am ready to be back on my A-game, working as diligently as possible until I reach the finish line. 


And, perhaps the best part, is that tomorrow morning I am going to go for a run for the first time since February. The doctor said "no running" until April, and April starts this week, so I'm going to go for it. SB has been biking using his trainer almost every day and I have been inspired/envious. I never realized how much seasonal affectation plays a part in my life, or maybe this year was particularly bad because it was coupled with my mono, but these long, sunny, warmish days are having a big impact on my attitude. Summer is coming!


On that note... 

A SWEET FLYING DREAM
BY LAWRENCE FERLINGHETTI

We were two naked
  light-headed dandelions
   with natural hair blown out
 floating high over the landscape
   blown by zephyr winds
  our long legs dangling
    straight down
   translucent
      dandelion stems
 in an archetypal primordial dream
            of flying
Sweet hills & waters
   flowed below us
 as we floated high over
    lakes & rivers
       & windblown peaks
We
     drifted
     wafted easily
    We
          flew wingless
 Full of air
      our hair
        buoyed us
      We
 Trailed our slim legs
   in streams of silver air
  There
   was nothing
            blowing us down
    or away
     from each other
After a long way
     and a long while
            we
       glided down
   lower & lower
 in great swinging circles
  The sea
   the lapping sea
     rose up
    and we
     were over gold land
     close up
 and I
  I was afraid you would
           come against the ground too hard
 and I reached down
               and took
          your two extended hands
       in mine
      and held you below me
          like that
             floating
As we drifted
  lower & lower
 the earth
     came up to us
     so softly
     And
 we landed
      so quietly
     sank
  so gently
      to the bright soft ground
     And lay in the light
   flowerless fields

Overwhelmed

Well, as to be expected, spring break came and went all-too quickly. Despite knowing this would happen, the adjustment back into school has been a tough one. With less than two months to graduate, I have been frequently reduced to wimpering re: not being able to make it to the finish line. It hasn't helped that my job will be ending in June (exactly when I do not know) and we are busy trying to ensure project sustainability while knowing that I will not be continuing with the project beyond the June timeline. My boss and our consultant on the project will both likely continue while I am cut loose. Not surprising, because I knew it would happen, but to my surprise the fact that they may continue the work without me feels like a let down. Being a part-time intern is never being "in" like a full-time employee, and I'm eager for a position that entitles me to the same degree of investment and interest as everyone else in the office.

On a related note, I am also a student with a commitment to my job and therefore limited time to engage with other students in my class. So, there too I feel lackluster in my availability and ultimately my ability to invest. Group work in every class requiring scheduled out-of-class meetings that work for 5+ people is very taxing in that it is nearly impossible to coordinate. I want to pull my weight in all spheres, including at home with SB, but I am feeling mediocre as a result of being spread thin. The mono hasn't helped, either.

BUT, I will graduate in something like 6 weeks. And my job is great and I perform well and there is no need to fret there, either. And I can't complain at home because I've got a fabulous partner and adorable cat and a future to which I look forward. I hate to wish away these last 6 weeks, but that is my current state. And to think, not only will I graduate in 6 weeks but I will also become an aunt. I'm very excited. And two of my good friends from grad school just got engaged. They are totally great, and I'm for some reason particularly enthusiastic about it. Perhaps we'll be longtime friends.

Anyway, time for bed (yes at 9:05 pm!). Sorry this is more like a rant than anything else. It has totally been one of those days/weeks. I'm hoping to, despite the mono, begin running again this week. Wish me luck.

SPRING BREAK!

A photo from the St. Paul Farmers Market last year. Here's hoping for warmth soon!

After a few days of much-needed recovery time, it has finally hit me that I am on Spring break. I have a ton of schoolwork to do and am working 20 hours this week, but I am deadline-free for 8 days. Oh the joy.

Break has been great so far. I spent yesterday with my family (although SB couldn't join us because now he's sick! Huge bummer.), this morning drinking mimosas and eating vegan brunch (including cupcakes!), and will spend the evening watching a movie with SB and Cricket. All of this could be done guilt-free, as I don't really need to be doing homework quite yet.

I also started reading Violent Partners by Linda Mills (for an upcoming conference). I like her tone thus far and think that it will be a really compelling read as well as a fascinating, radical, restorative-justice and healing-type approach to the issue of domestic violence. I have to facilitate discussion of the book at a conference that Linda Mills herself will be attending. A cool opportunity, but intimidating since I have no experience with this issue and I'll be facilitating professionals in this field.

While this week will have to include extensive research for papers and projects, reading for classes, there will also hopefully be a fun St. Patrick's Day celebration (nothing more or less than attempting to make Irish soda bread and drinking a beer with friends and family) as well as several other fun activities, the memories of which will hopefully keep me going through these final months of school and the beginning of my job search. YIKES. I'll save those worries for another week. If I do anything especially cool, I will post a photo.

The Joys of Inefficiency

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”    ~Socrates


Having mono has forced me to slow down. Actually, I usually run from one thing to the next for three or four days, despite my mono, and then my body crashes and I have to recuperate. And by have to recuperate, I don't mean to sound like it is miserable; in fact, when I take an evening off, or a few hours, or even thirty minutes to watch a funny episode on Netflix, read for pleasure, just rest in bed, etc., I still manage to get everything done (enough) and life goes on. The best part: AND I got to indulge in something pleasurable, leaving my whole body and spirit feeling better. With that in mind, and not just during this seemingly endless virus, I must learn to be less neurotic about being productive and instead see the beauty of inefficiently spent time. Tonight, after three consecutive 10-13 hour days away from home, I watched Ghostbusters. I have an easy reflection paper due tomorrow, and I just put in on hold to recuperate with Ghostbusters. And I laughed out loud by myself. And I got my reflection done. And I'm going to graduate. And life goes on. So enjoy it and don't feel guilty for taking a break!

Footnote to Howl

Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
     Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
The world is holy! The soul is holy! The skin is holy!
     The nose is holy! The tongue and cock and hand
     and asshole holy!
Everything is holy! everybody's holy! everywhere is
     holy! everyday is in eternity! Everyman's an
     angel!
The bum's as holy as the seraphim! the madman is
     holy as you my soul are holy!
The typewriter is holy the poem is holy the voice is
     holy the hearers are holy the ecstasy is holy!
Holy Peter holy Allen holy Solomon holy Lucien holy
     Kerouac holy Huncke holy Burroughs holy Cas-
     sady holy the unknown buggered and suffering
     beggars holy the hideous human angels!
Holy my mother in the insane asylum! Holy the cocks
     of the grandfathers of Kansas!
Holy the groaning saxophone! Holy the bop
     apocalypse! Holy the jazzbands marijuana
     hipsters peace & junk & drums!
Holy the solitudes of skyscrapers and pavements! Holy
     the cafeterias filled with the millions! Holy the
     mysterious rivers of tears under the streets!
Holy the lone juggernaut! Holy the vast lamb of the
     middle class! Holy the crazy shepherds of rebell-
     ion! Who digs Los Angeles IS Los Angeles!
Holy New York Holy San Francisco Holy Peoria &
     Seattle Holy Paris Holy Tangiers Holy Moscow
     Holy Istanbul!
Holy time in eternity holy eternity in time holy the
     clocks in space holy the fourth dimension holy
     the fifth International holy the Angel in Moloch!
Holy the sea holy the desert holy the railroad holy the
     locomotive holy the visions holy the hallucina-
     tions holy the miracles holy the eyeball holy the
     abyss!
Holy forgiveness! mercy! charity! faith! Holy! Ours!
     bodies! suffering! magnanimity!
Holy the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent
     kindness of the soul!

Ode to the Onion

Onion,
shining flask,
your beauty assembled
petal by petal,
they affixed crystal scales to you
and your belly of dew grew round
in the secret depth of the dark earth.
The miracle took place
underground,
and when your lazy green stalk
appeared
and your leaves were born
like swords in the garden,
the earth gathered its strength
exhibiting your naked transparency,
and just as the distant sea
copied the magnolia in Aphrodite
raising up her breasts,
so the earth
made you,
onion,
as bright as a planet
and fated
to shine,
constant constellation,
rounded rose of water,
on
poor people's
dining tables.

Generously
you give up
your balloon of freshness
to the boiling consummation
of the pot,
and in the blazing heat of the oil
the shred of crystal
is transformed into a curled feather of gold.

I shall also proclaim how your influence
livens the salad's love,
and the sky seems to contribute
giving you the fine shape of hail
praising your chopped brightness
upon the halves of the tomato.
but within the people's
reach,
showered with oil,
dusted
with a pinch of salt
you satisfy the worker's hunger
along the hard road home.
Poor people's star,
fairy godmother
wrapped
in fancy paper,
you rise from the soil,
eternal, intact, as pure
as a celestial seed,
and when the kitchen knife
cuts you
the only painless tear
is shed:
you made us weep without suffering.
I have praised every living thing, onion,
but for me you are
more beautiful than a bird
of blinding plumage;
to my eyes you are
a heavenly balloon, platinum cup,
the snowy anemone's
motionless dance.

The fragrance of the earth is alive
in your crystalline nature.

Pablo Neruda
Odes to Common Things

Cosby Show

So it isn't the same as say 30 Rock or The Office, some current comedy shows that I enjoy, but my new nighttime ritual is a quick 21 minute Cosby show episode. As a kid we measured the distance of long car rides in "Bill Cosby shows," and it gives me such great pleasure to watch this show again. I'm going to go ahead and call it both bold and wholesome entertainment. Check it out instantly on Netflix. Seasons 2 and 3 were the most highly rated from what I've found.

Valentine

1) I have mono -- as if I had enough motivation to get myself to work and school in the first place! But being consistently run down ought to force me to be more mindful. And I got two varieties of flowers today (and a delicious lunch of eggs with spinach and toast), which have lifted my spirits.

2) I'm going to go ahead and ham this right up with a nerdy video and song that I really like. Number one requested song tonight on the Current. Sean and I are going to go see this very emo band with friends in April. Hopefully they'll play this song and we can all ham it up in a big ol' audience of shared love. Enjoy!

3)

"Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."

                                - Rumi

Outdone

Well, I have to say that I outdid myself yesterday, possibly for the worst, by trying a pizza from scratch for the first time on my first sort-of recovered day from tonsillitis. Problem is that I'm feeling exhausted and a bit worse today after yesterday's errands and long dinner preparation. SB did a lot of the work but the sudden shift to so much time on my feet left me out cold by about 8:30pm (while watching Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou -- our fav. I should add that Cricket slept right on my chest as I dozed!).

Anyway -- a very delicious pizza, though! The crust even turned out despite adding more flour than the recipe called for and despite completely making up pizza sauce off the top of our heads using tomatoes, tomato paste, garlic, and basil. On the pizza: mushrooms, garlic, red onions, shallots, chicken, zucchini and red pepper. SUCCESS, so long as I keep getting better. I have two more days of an antibiotic left (hence less cheese on my side of the pizza -- most dairy is not allowed) and am not feeling as well as I had hoped. Please oh please do not let the abscess return. Now, to catch up on a week's worth of homework in this sleepy and sore state. Boo.

A description of my weekend

I used to enjoy sick days but now I wish I could keep going through the motions so as not to get behind. Growing up? Or maybe being sick was never worth the time off. I've had a fever between 100 and 103 for days and I can hardly get out of bed because my doctor recommended toughing it out without meds until evening. Currently at 103.1.

"When you develop a fever, the body sends signals to the hypothalamus that tells it to raise the setpoint to a higher temperature. Often, but not always, this is a response to an infection, such as a bacterium or a virus. The immune cells that respond to the infection secrete molecules called "endogenous pyrogens." (Endogenous means made by the body, and a pyrogen is something that causes the temperature to rise.) The endogenous pyrogens travel through the blood and reach the hypothalamus, where they cause the setpoint to increase. Once that happens, the hypothalamus tells the body, "You're too cold." Remember that the temperature may be normal in this situation, but what matters is that the temperature is lower than the setpoint, which has been raised. So you feel cold, get under the blankets, and shiver.

A while later, when the temperature has risen to the setpoint, the hypothalamus sends out the signal, "Your temperature is fine now." Then you no longer feel cold and often throw off some of the blankets. And when the fever "breaks," the level of endogenous pyrogens decreases, the hypothalamus changes its setpoint back to normal, and now the elevated temperature again seems too hot. Suddenly you start to sweat and throw off all the blankets! Soon this leads to a decrease in temperature back to the normal setpoint, and you feel normal again."

(Sunday) Morning Song

Morning Song by Sylvia Plath

Love set you going like a fat gold watch.

The midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry

Took its place among the elements.

Our voices echo, magnifying your arrival. New statue.

In a drafty museum, your nakedness

Shadows our safety. We stand round blankly as walls.

I'm no more your mother

Than the cloud that distills a mirror to reflect its own slow

Effacement at the wind's hand.

All night your moth-breath

Flickers among the flat pink roses. I wake to listen:

A far sea moves in my ear.

One cry, and I stumble from bed, cow-heavy and floral

In my Victorian nightgown.

Your mouth opens clean as a cat's. The window square

Whitens and swallows its dull stars. And now you try

Your handful of notes;

The clear vowels rise like balloons.

Winter Walk

I love this neighborhood.

Wake up and Indulge

So it clear that my photo is the one on the left and it may not look as good as the photo on the right, but this is one DELICIOUS way to start the day, especially for beet-lovers like myself.

INGREDIENTS

• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 4 medium red potatoes, medium dice (about 2 1/2 cups)
• 4 small red beets, peeled and cut into medium dice (about 1 1/2 cups)
• 1/2 medium white onion, peeled and cut into medium dice
• 2 medium garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped
• 1/2 cup finely chopped fresh Italian parsley
• 4 large eggs

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Heat the oven to 450°F and arrange a rack in the middle. Place oil in a large cast iron skillet and put the skillet in the oven until the oil shimmers and the pan is heated through, about 5 minutes.
2. Combine potatoes, beets, onion, and garlic in a large bowl. Sprinkle generously with salt and freshly ground black pepper and toss to coat. Spread in an even layer in the hot skillet and roast in the oven until everything starts to get crispy, about 25 minutes. Remove from the oven, stir, and return to the oven to roast until beets and potatoes are fully cooked and browned, about 25 minutes more.
3. Remove the skillet from the oven and stir in parsley. Create 4 indentations in the hash and crack 1 egg into each indentation. Season eggs with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Return the skillet to the oven and cook eggs to desired doneness.

Craft Time

Why not?

Bee on flower

Shell hot air balloon

Cricket in the city

Cricket-in-chief (holding hops)

YUM

This week is the first week that we have bought a gallon of milk, probably since we moved to St. Paul six months ago. I eat yogurt semi-frequently but have almost eliminated milk from my diet because SB doesn't like to drink it and my consumption is too sporadic to warrant the purchase. This week is an exception and, in honor of it, I made peanut butter cookies after a surprisingly fun program evaluation night class. YUM. Milk + peanut butter cookies = weekday evening bliss. In the background is poetry being listened to by SB. Based upon what I'm hearing I think that a good read for the near future will be the poetry of Charles Bukowski.

   

Star Trek Party

Tabouli

Command Insignias

Pita Bread

Samosa Innards

One of Many Funny Labels by SB

In addition to pita bread, samosas, and tabouli we had cucumber sauce, hot mango chutney, sweet chili sauce, and almond-stuffed dates wrapped in bacon. There was a perfect amount of food, and it was a whirlwind of more than a dozen guests in our tiny one-bedroom apartment. SB dominated Star Trek "Scene It," and several of our homemade beers were consumed in-full (impressive since the beer isn't all that great).  Success!

A Favorite

Since my mad-scientist-type professor forgot to e-mail the readings for today's class, I have a bit of spare time to write another post! Classes are going well. A recent fascinating read was an excerpt from Becoming Justice Blackmun. I became completely absorbed in learning about the relationships, expectations, and politics existing within the Supreme Court. This book will definitely be on my list of "books to read post-graduation." Actually, maybe I'll make that another list on this blog. I'm slowly getting the hang of this whole blogging thing...

Lastly, before I post another of my all-time favorite poems, new: this weekend we host a party of at least a dozen guests, all of whom will likely be hungry and thirsty for delicious food, beer, and Star Trek. Yes, we're throwing a party dedicated to the one of the nerdiest cult tv series' of all time. It should be very fun. I'm making a ton of different foods including vegan options, and will certainly post pictures by next week. But first, a great poem:

Under the Willows 

J.R. Lowell

This willow is as old to me as life;

And under it full often have I stretched,

Feeling the warm earth like a thing alive,

And gathering virtue in at every pore,

Till it possessed me wholly, and thought ceased,

Or was transfused in something to which thought

Is coarse, and dull of sense.  Myself was lost,

Gone from me like an ache; and what remained 

Became a part of the universal joy.

My soul went forth, and, mingling with the tree,

Danced in the leaves; or, floating on the cloud,

Saw its white double in the stream below;

Or else, sublimed to purer ecstasy,

Dilated in the broad blue over all.

I was the wind that dappled the lush grass,

The tide that crept with coolness to its roots,

The thin-winged swallow skating on the air:

The life that gladdened everything was mine.

Final "First Day of Classes"

Today begins my final semester of graduate school. It started in a familiar room, but with an unfamiliar tone. Although it is surely too early to judge, I have a feeling that this classroom will be something like Hogwarts under Dolores Umbridge. The professor, while trying to appear generous (by offering that we call her by her first name and bring food when needed into the lunch-hour class), was so uptight that she went through the syllabus all hour without really showing any sign of relating to the students. She repeatedly mentioned how "very unusual" it was to have two students by the same first name; she was even more troubled when the students didn't offer up suggestions as to "what to do about this" -- as though one student should be required to be called by another name simply because there was another girl by the same name in the class! Seriously, it is as though she has never been in a classroom before! Also Umbridge-like, she spoke to us like small children -- "if I see you using electronics at inappropriate times I will ask you, in front of everyone, to put it away." Jeez. This is grad school. Most of us are 25 - 35 years old and are paying an arm and a leg to sit in these classrooms and hopefully learn from professors with great minds or at least great experience that they can share. I will conclude by stating that I wouldn't have even spent the time to rant on this blog if the professor had sent out the pdfs of our readings "right after class" as she had promised.

Pita Bread and Falafel

In fear that my new semester, beginning tomorrow, will squash my cooking time into mostly weekend afternoons, I experimented a lot today. First, hummus. Second, and nearly the same as hummus, falafel. Also, pita bread and cucumber sauce. We excitedly bought tahini from the co-op with a gift card only to taste it with complete disgust. Ugh. Ah well. I'm sure it will be useful when we have our upcoming Star Trek party with a few vegan guests. Can't wait to wow everyone with my new "from scratch" skillz.

Samosas and Dipping Sauce

A first attempt. Eaten while watching "Hell on Wheels," a documentary about the Tour de France. We intend to be in France during the tour to see it live some day. I can't wait for us to travel together. Mostly I can't wait to hear SB's adorable french-speaking in action. Love it. 

For Warmth

My Lover Gave Me Green Leaves


My lover gave me green leaves
with the mud of the garden on them,
radishes sharp and red,
nasturtium flames.


He gave me the tender heart
of a cabbage, its glossy coat,
a loaf of bread studded deep
with seeds.


He gave me the note
the blackbird
I'd cried at the blackness of
by the river sang.


He gave me the struck fire
of his thoughts
in his mind --
flint on flint.


He gave me the taste,
direct on his tongue,
of the syllables their embers
did not destroy.


He gave me his word,
the word of an Adam--
a promise,
should he set eyes on the sun.


He gave me a drop of the dew
to hold.
To see my face in it.
To look through.


He gave me,
in the chrisomed palm
of his empty hand--
a gasp of joy.


- Josephine Dickinson

Skyway

Today I rushed through the skyway, considering a walk to Target exercise if done with enough vigor. On my way back to the office, I was stuck behind a short man with long slow strides. Cursing him in my mind, agitated and with a higher heart rate than supplied by the walk, my skin was nearly crawling with frustration within mere seconds! As we approached a closed door, I sighed, disappointed, feeling the heavy weight of wasted time. I then looked up to see that this man had turned to hold the door for me, sharing with me a kind smile while exuding a calm happiness. Lesson: chill out.