Overwhelmed

Well, as to be expected, spring break came and went all-too quickly. Despite knowing this would happen, the adjustment back into school has been a tough one. With less than two months to graduate, I have been frequently reduced to wimpering re: not being able to make it to the finish line. It hasn't helped that my job will be ending in June (exactly when I do not know) and we are busy trying to ensure project sustainability while knowing that I will not be continuing with the project beyond the June timeline. My boss and our consultant on the project will both likely continue while I am cut loose. Not surprising, because I knew it would happen, but to my surprise the fact that they may continue the work without me feels like a let down. Being a part-time intern is never being "in" like a full-time employee, and I'm eager for a position that entitles me to the same degree of investment and interest as everyone else in the office.

On a related note, I am also a student with a commitment to my job and therefore limited time to engage with other students in my class. So, there too I feel lackluster in my availability and ultimately my ability to invest. Group work in every class requiring scheduled out-of-class meetings that work for 5+ people is very taxing in that it is nearly impossible to coordinate. I want to pull my weight in all spheres, including at home with SB, but I am feeling mediocre as a result of being spread thin. The mono hasn't helped, either.

BUT, I will graduate in something like 6 weeks. And my job is great and I perform well and there is no need to fret there, either. And I can't complain at home because I've got a fabulous partner and adorable cat and a future to which I look forward. I hate to wish away these last 6 weeks, but that is my current state. And to think, not only will I graduate in 6 weeks but I will also become an aunt. I'm very excited. And two of my good friends from grad school just got engaged. They are totally great, and I'm for some reason particularly enthusiastic about it. Perhaps we'll be longtime friends.

Anyway, time for bed (yes at 9:05 pm!). Sorry this is more like a rant than anything else. It has totally been one of those days/weeks. I'm hoping to, despite the mono, begin running again this week. Wish me luck.